Wisdom of larry the cable guy

1. A day without sunshine islike night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statisticsare made up on the spot.


4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.


5. Remember, half the people you knoware below average.


6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.


7. Depression is merely anger with out enthusiasm.


8. The early bird may get the worm,but the second mouse gets the
cheesein the trap.


9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.


10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.



12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.



13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis?Raise my hand.


14. Speed of Light? OK, so what's the speed of dark?


15. When every thing is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


16. Hard work pays off in the future Laziness pays off now.


17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?


18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


19. What happens if you get scaredhalf to death, twice?


20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?


21. Inside every older person is ayounger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'


22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.



23. Light travels faster than sound..That's why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.


24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.

What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow

funny stuff

#30 If we would have left earlier we wouldn't have been late